1.11.16. We’re 11 days into a new year and I’m over 38 years into life. As I tried to focus and meditate this morning, my thoughts were busy and unorganized. I scrolled through the Facebook status updates of my friends, listened to the local news in the background, flipped phone apps to check my work emails and began to formulate a game plan for the day and week, wondered if I should text my sister this early to check-in and see how she’s feeling, was concerned that my employees would receive there W-2’s and if it was my responsibility to mail them…..on to get ready for the day-…
Life has one mode-“PLAY”, and this started to creep into my thoughts as I jumped in the shower and knock that out of the way. There would be no option of a pause button at any point today to stop and think about a situation before I respond. My thoughts started to quiet and focus. “This LIFE of mine will only ever stop once”. “There won’t be another 1.11.16 to wake-up”, “There’s no way to go back and correct any of my actions yesterday”, “I will never be able to go back to last week and add one more activity, change any actions, respond differently to any situations, give more of myself, and invest more time in what I can now see as last week’s important moments. Life is in constant forward motion whether or not we choose to live in this reality.
Then, I thought of a remote control. How different would this life be if I had the master remote control? How would my days, hours, minutes change if I could manipulate them with a “rewind” button, or a “fast-forward ” function?
REWIND: Oh for the moments I wish I could go back and relive if life were to offer a rewind mode. My Mom recently passed not even 3 months ago. Since her death, I am continually over-whelmed with floods of sweet cherished memories of the times on earth I was blessed to know and have this sweet angel in my life. If I could, I’d spend my days rewinding back to the cold mornings I’d find my Mom making me hot oatmeal in the kitchen while she kissed me and loved on me. I’d relive, over and over, trips to the grocery store, conversations we shared, listening to her sing along with the radio, hold her tight and breath her warmth. Then truth showed me the flip-side. If rewind were an option, I’d spend just as many moments go back to actions I wanted to delete and relive. Those would be endless, because the truth is I would never get them perfect enough. For a moment, a “rewind” option seemed so useful. Life would be tragic if I were stuck in rewind. I’d never live. I’d always be in a backward mode trying to correct and relive. I know this morning that I want to live so that I don’t need a rewind mode. I want to make the right choices on the first play through. I want to focus on making every second relevant. I want to live in the moment for each special second I spend with my friends and family. I want to use all the wonderful memories life has given me to remind me, not rewind, of how I should live as I move forward every second of every day.
FAST FORWARD: Will everything work out with my new business? If I go out with my friends will I really have a great time or will I wish I had stayed at home and watched movies with my nieces and nephews? Will anything go wrong at work this year that I may be able to address differently or change? Will I even have a job at the end of this year? The ability to look ahead seemed helpful for a moment. It certainly would be nice to be able to view any and every situation before I “got into it”. Knowledge of my future would certainly help me to choose my current actions more carefully if I could expect a positive end, I thought. All said, I’d probably never move forward if I were able to see what is ahead. I would spend my days worrying, scheming, and preparing. I would not truly live, for with a knowledge of the future, I would never experience all the wonderful emotions of life that come with living in the moment. Joy, surprise, fright, anticipation, love, humor….
STOP: Life will stop, once, and it will be no more. Today, this day, this minute, this second, I choose to live every moment as to not need “rewind”, “fast-forward”, “pause”, or “delete”. I will enjoy every second knowing that my life is lived in “PLAY” mode, and with each second I can learn, love, choose, enjoy, experience, change, grow, and be of influence until the unknown moment when life comes to an end.
….After writing the above this morning, I was confronted by someone very special to me, about an action I had taken that may hurt them because of my negligence. On the inside, I am absolutely torn up about the potential outcome as well as the damage and hurt I may have caused. I learned earlier this morning, and so very passionately espoused that there is no “rewind”. What’s done cannot be undone. Looking ahead, I can learn from the past and be more cautious and deliberating when I approach a situation that can and does have great affect on one who to me I hold so dear. Moving forward, I cannot worry and scheme about what will be, or could be, or might be until it actually takes place. I will choose patience instead of hastiness. I will choose peace instead of worry. I will choose to keep my focus rather than suffer from distraction. I will trust in the strength of right in opposition to the weakness of fear.
So quickly, life can call us to put into action what in word we believe and in theory we know to be best.
Our choice to learn, grow, and understand a belief through action and practice is truly living out our life’s purpose. To disregard a truth, selectively ignore, and excuse it’s pertinance to a difficult situation is to tempt life to stop.
To be continued…