feeling rough, falling hard, failing often, fearing everything, finding ┬áblessing, fiximg me.

This morning just feels rough, crazy. and completely lost as my mind races with issues that I need to resolve, personal frustrations that I need to correct, and difficult situations that I have created for myself of which I see no end. Bills, relationships, employment, failures, love, loss, enjoyment, fufillment, and purpose weigh so heavily that together the experience seems nearly crippling.

Sitting here on July 4th on a bench in Atlantic Station, I realize that nothing can be resolved by only dwelling on negativity. I also know that ignoring a problem only leads to greater and more deeply seeded problems. I need to recognize and tackle what is frustrating without allowing obstacles to become irreversible. 


Today, I will first acknowledge the sea of endless blessings, opportunities, successes, and second chances that have been so graciously and continually evident in my life. I will not carry-on as if my life is terrible and dark. I will recognize that there is legitimate struggle and deep hurt being experienced by people all around me and that my small world is a mere droplet in a sea of human struggles, dreams, challenges, aspirations,  defeats, hirt, need, desire, and success. 


Life’s difficulties only become more problematic when not met and/or challenged by a solution or “fix”. I must address and no longer ignore my personal problems. If I have a bill due-I must work to pay the bill. If I have a personal frustration, I must evaluate its truth and work to correct to eliminate what os frustrating. I must do roght where I have wronged. I must succeed where I have failed. I must give where I have taken. I must do better where I know better. 


I must be real about my problems and solutions. I must be realistic about my capabilities, solutions, and opportunities. 


…to be continued 

I know I’m already feeling better by focussing on positivity and solution.